A Great Message

I got up pretty early this morning, especially for a Sunday (7:30am) and went to the 9:30 church service at Fellowship for a change. Boy, am I glad I got there early, it was PACKED! There were people sitting on the floor in the aisles and standing along the walls it was so full. For good reason, I found out. The speaker, Greg Smalley, Psy.D. did a FANTASTIC job! I guess he's written some books on marriage and the series he continued on today was "Growing a Healthy Marriage - Speaking Life into your Mate". Today's message was not only for people who are married, but it could also be used in any relationship in life.

Words are so powerful. I think I really learned that message in 2008. Even if you don't mean to hurt someone, just the simplest thing can have a negative affect. Words have the power to build up or tear down.

"Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be." (James 3:10)

"The tongue has the power of life or death." (Proverbs 18:21)

Greg taught us to see our spouse or loved one as Jesus sees them. This is very hard to do, especially if you're angry with them. But difficult as it may be, we must look past our anger and frustration and see in them what God sees through His loving eyes. The Lord looks at our heart.

He also talked about some words of affirmation that everyone should use to "speak life into your mate".

1. Words of Gratitude - Gratitude is thankful recognition by saying "thank you" for something specific that you appreciated that he/she did. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
2. Words of Praise - "Words from a wise man's mouth are gracious..." (Ecclesiastes 10:12)
3. Words of Appreciation - Noticing what you VALUE about your spouse (Romans 12:10) The more you 'apreciate' something, the more valuable it becomes to you. Make an Honor List, listing all the ways you appreciate your spouse.
4. Words of Encouragement - The word "en-courage" meant "to make couragious" (Mark 1:11) Give extra energy and courage, release their potential.
5. Words of Validation - "Quick to listen, slow to speak..." (James 1:19) Care and be curious.
6. Words of Protection - Speak kindly of your spouse in front of others when he or she is present or not present. (Ephesians 4:29) Never gossip or dishonor.
7. Words of Blessing - The word "blessing" means to confirm its truth and to strengthen it. (Matthew 16:18) Call out something positive that you see they are interested in.

These issues we can all work on in our relationships and I know I will be keeping them in mind! =)