The first flowers sent for no reason! =)
Always being silly...
And always laughing...
Jeff and I talk a LOT about our relationship and about how we communicate (we're nerdy like that). I've always said HE should have been the one with the psychology degree not me! He's a bit of an analyzer, which I love.
We've been talking a lot about communication and what we need to improve on or find out before we get engaged. I guess we're taking the "let's work on everything now" approach so we can enjoy the next phase of our life without worries. We've been using this book called "101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged". The author actually spoke at my church for about 5 Sundays on the topic of marriage, I re-capped a couple of them on my blog, he is FANTASTIC. So I knew the book would be great. It's really just a little book of 101 questions and little paragraphs talking about each one. We've done about 15 questions so far and it has been a really neat experience. We're finding out a lot more about each other that we've never thought to ask.
Some of the questions so far have been...
What makes it easy for you to be open and vulnerable, and what makes it difficult?
What is your greatest fear or concern about being married? What have you done to address these concerns?
If you were to marry, in what way would you maintain a healthy “interdependence”? What would you depend upon each other for and what would you take responsibility for?
Describe how you were disciplined as a child. If you have children, how will your discipline be the same and how will it be different than what you experienced?
What are 5 reasons a person would want to spend the rest of their life with you, and 3 reasons they wouldn’t?
What have you learned from your previous relationships that will make you a better partner for someone at this time?
We've had a lot of fun answering them and then talking about them afterwards. We probably won't do all 101 but we want to do a lot of them.
Another book I've been reading and Jeff is going to read after I finish is called "Love and Respect". This book has been SUCH an eye opener! It's all based on Ephesians 5:33 "But every husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and wives should respect their husbands." It says that every problem stems from this crazy cycle of wives not feeling loved, so they don't respect their husband in the way they speak (because women are taught to fight with words), so then the husband gets mad and doesn't show love back, etc. It goes on and on until someone consciously breaks the cycle (usually the woman). It's all so simple the way he explains it and makes so much sense. I'm only on the 4th chapter and I LOVE IT! So if you ever need a book like this, I highly recommend it.
5 comments:
What is Ryan Seacrest doing in the background of one of your pictures? Ha!
i have the love and respect book but haven't starting reading it yet! i better get to it.
my hubby and i went to a Family Life marriage conference last fall (Weekend to Remember) which was awesome, and the speaker suggested the love and respect book.
Those are some great questions. I'll have to check those books out.
Loved the pic. And thanks for the book recomendation!
I think it's great that you are giving the marriage so much thought--too many people just focus on the wedding, not the decades that are going to come after.
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